I want to be in all senses of the words, All. Things. Mama.
As far back as I can remember I've wanted to be a mom, not just any mom, but the mom that stays home with her kids full time. The mom who loves even when she is not loved back, who can't breathe without thinking of her kids first. The mom who loves teaching, playing, cooking, baking, laughing, and kissing owies. The mom who is ALL THINGS MAMA. My husband and I scrimp so that dream can be fulfilled. Being a mom is not part time for me. It is something that has captured my heart. All of the going ons of my life start with thoughts of my kids. My kids consume my love and my life and I allow it because, with God's help they are the essence of what makes me a mother. This is me...

kids: the reason for moms

kids: the reason for moms

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


There are some things that are unimaginable, unfathomable, and hard to wrap your mind and heart around, until you become a mother.  The oh so grand, keeps you awake at night, heart wrenching, lovely, type of love that comes with the birth of your children.  The type of love that is unmoved even when the kids are driving you up the wall and you think you can't take another minute of disciplining them.  The type of love that brings you to tears when you see a diaper commercial and realize one of your kids is too big for diapers and the other soon will be.  This kind of love is the biggest kind of love and I believe it to be the closest to the love that God has for us.
It is this love that has made me laugh, cry, swell with pride, learn to give everything I have to someone else, and many other things that have made me a better person.  It is also this same love that drives me.  It forces me to be aware at all times and to think of all scenarios so as to keep my children safe in all situations.  I would climb mountains, dive into the ocean, run in front of traffic, kill a person, if it meant keeping my children safe.  This is how crazy one becomes after becoming a mother.
I remember thinking my mom was crazy..turns out she was..crazy with a love for her kids.  And now I feel that same kind of craziness and I understand what my mom was thinking when I was younger.  As crazy as this love makes me feel, I really hope that I also learn to let go when the time is right.  There are stepping stones in every child's life where they need to be let go, little by little, until, when the all too soon day comes and they become adults and the mother has to give the final let go.  This is the heart wrenching part of the crazy mom love.  Letting go.  Letting go of the person you fed, changed, bathed, taught, and loved like no other.  Letting go and hoping they listened to your instruction along the way.  Letting go and hoping they remember the crazy love and appreciate it.  Letting go and letting God...

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