I want to be in all senses of the words, All. Things. Mama.
As far back as I can remember I've wanted to be a mom, not just any mom, but the mom that stays home with her kids full time. The mom who loves even when she is not loved back, who can't breathe without thinking of her kids first. The mom who loves teaching, playing, cooking, baking, laughing, and kissing owies. The mom who is ALL THINGS MAMA. My husband and I scrimp so that dream can be fulfilled. Being a mom is not part time for me. It is something that has captured my heart. All of the going ons of my life start with thoughts of my kids. My kids consume my love and my life and I allow it because, with God's help they are the essence of what makes me a mother. This is me...

kids: the reason for moms

kids: the reason for moms

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


Dear Lord,

Grant me patience today. Help me be good to my kids even when they are not being good. Give me sweet words and take sharpness out of my tone. Let me learn of ways to incorporate your kindness and grace into every conversation with them. Let it be easy to remember they are only children and are still learning as you remember the same of me.

Friday, December 21, 2012

29 years of Christmas...

It's different. Festive and sad should not go together, but this year they do. I love Christmas, but this year will be abnormal.

After 29 years of spending Christmas morning at Grandma and Grandpa's house, this year it is only Grandpa's house. This year is...unexplainable. How do you describe pain during a joyful time? I'm happy and sad, when those two things don't seem to go together.

Every Christmas song I hear, I can hear Grandma's voice singing it too. They all remind me of her. Her house, her decorations, her little stockings, her clapping and playing with the babies, her.

I remember a Christmas time about four years ago when she stopped talking and shushed me because a new Christmas song came on that she wanted me to hear. It is called "A baby changes everything." Melanie had just been born when that song came out. I now find such solace in that special memory. And when I hear that song now, I cry and remember my grandma. She always shared songs with me that carried a special meaning to her. She loved music..and dancing.. and singing.

Melanie remembers her great grandma the best out of all my kids. She recently told me she wished God would let great grandma come visit for a little while and then bring her back to heaven. I wish it worked that way too.

She is celebrating in heaven and oh how much more fun she is having now. I'm sure Christmas is beautiful there.

Listen to the song here:

A baby changes everything

Sunday, November 4, 2012

5 years of better or worse

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, but somehow through all the times we have stayed together. In our 5 long yet short years together I've learned one thing over and over: marriage is hard, REALLY hard. The difficult kind of hard you don't understand until you've experienced it.

Before getting married I used to think it looked so easy and fun. All you had to do was be in love and life would be grand. From the outside marriage can look easy and wonderful, and it can be both of those things, but it isn't those things all the time unless you really work at it all the time. Yes, love makes marriage good but it is not the only ingredient to a great married life.

I find that when I'm not willing to forgive like Jesus forgives me, when I'm not willing to listen like Jesus listens to me, and when I'm not willing to be like Jesus is to me in my relationship with my husband, our marriage goes through the worst of times. When I do the opposite, and I treat my marriage as Jesus expects me to treat it, we have the best of times.

The truth is, it is so much easier to walk away when tough times come than it is to stay and figure things out. During a fight, I am way more likely to shut down and leave the conversation than to talk until things are resolved. What can I say, I like to be right. Unfortunately, liking to be right all of the time is really wrong. Still working on that. It's been a 5 year project.

Even though it's been hard, it has also been really good to us. 3 kids in less than 4 years type of good. We've built a nice little family. Good things have come from our sometimes dysfunctional marriage.

So happy 5 years honey! Let's work on 70 more!

Cheers to finding the good stuff in marriage!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Oh goody, I'm thirty...

When you tell someone you are turning thirty the first thing that usually comes out of their mouth is, "how do you feel about it?" Huh? Am I supposed to feel something? Am I supposed to be happy, mad, sad, jealous of my lost twenties? To be honest, I don't feel any different than I did yesterday when I was still 29. I don't feel a thing!

My friend Skyelynn told me her view on turning thirty:
There is something special about turning thirty that many seem to overlook. This is the first time in your life you have had a complete decade of being an adult. You can look back on ten full years of pure adulthood. It is surprising how much is accomplished, how many mistakes are made, and how much one is grown in the span of just 10 years.

Reflecting on the things I've done in the last ten years has been amazing and kind of embarrassing. (Who hasn't done embarrassing things in their twenties?) I've accomplished a lot, but I also made a few mistakes with whom I would not like to reminisce. Therefore, I choose to focus on the good of my twenties.

At 20 I was only in my second year of college and just starting a new job at a bank with which I would stay until 28 years old. That's a long time! At 22 I began my short 4 year teaching career and at 25 I became a wife.  I birthed a child at 26 years old and got my masters degree. Years 27 and 28 followed suit with year 26 by bringing me 2 more babies. Yes, I had a baby at 26, 27 and 28 years old! Best decisions ever made. And it was in my twenties that I made my most treasured and best friends. Big stuff happened in my twenties! Big stuff that I am big proud of!

Now I'm thirty. Young enough to start a new career or a new chapter in life if I wished, yet mature enough to choose those things wisely. Thirty still sounds somewhat young, but it also means I am headed to forty!

People jokingly say that thirty is the new twenty. I may feel as young as twenty, but if given the chance to go back a decade...no, I would say no! My life at thirty is way to good to leave.

The one thing I am going to truly miss tremendously about my twenties is a phone call. This will be the first year I will not be hearing happy birthday from my grandma. If I could go back to the last birthday phone call, one year ago, I would have kept her on the phone longer, said I love you a few more times and visited her way more often that year. Sometimes reflection, as good as it is for the soul, can bring heartache of loved ones gone from us.

Well now, I guess I do have some feelings about the completion of my twenties. Feelings of attainment, capability, and joy. God brought me here and I better take this next decade exactly where He tells me to take it!

Ok, now that I've taken time to return to the last ten years and remember some major points in my life, thirty is looking me in the face saying, "so ya, I'm kind of a big deal". Yes, you are, and it is no wonder you are called "The big 3-0." Bring on the next decade! Here I come forty!

If I went back a decade, this is what would be missing from my life. My family's feet...hahah Well, not just their feet, but you get what I mean. I just love this picture.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Better tomorrow...

This morning was a bright one, filled with the sounds of the coffee perking, kids laughing, and my husband making eggs, hash browns, and bacon for breakfast. This is the way Saturdays are supposed to feel.

A very stark contrast to yesterday morning when I woke up to a chewed up diaper in the laundry room, (courtesy of Guapo) and a car that had the check engine light lit up. Oh well, life moves on and there are still the little things that keep it happy and worthwhile...

Like this little girl's pig tails....they make me happy!

And these feet, (not mine) the little ones. She sure does love her shoes and she loves my shoes too!

And these things of fall....I have a renewed love for Oreos...Bought them the other day and was reminded of how good they are! The bonus is they are cuter during fall!

Star stands and pumpkins on a string found in the dollar spot at Target, except they were on the $2.50 side, so they were a little more than just $1, but still a good deal!

And I pulled this out for a little whiff of autumn. Forgot I even had it!

These were made at ten at night the other day, because it took us 2 hours to get our teething one year old to sleep! We needed a treat.

That sums up a little of the happiness around here lately...it would take a lot longer to show you everything!

Grab a sundae, smell a pumpkin candle, decorate with a little bit of autumn colors, do something happy!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

The memory of friendship...

There is something so intriguing about childhood friendships...

1.) ...because they are beautiful.

2.) ...because there are no grudges or talking behind backs.

3.) ...because they make being friends look so easy!

Exhibit A: The two on the right are arguing, yet I'm 100% sure when everything was resolved no one thought about it later or talked about it again...ever. Oh to be a child and forget the faults of others.

Hugs are without discrimination, smiles are often, and everyone, no matter the age difference are friends.
How did we stray so far away from this perfect and loving type of friendship as we grew up?

Once upon a time when our friendships almost mirrored the way Jesus befriends us.
 Back when sharing a little chair wasn't uncomfortable, it was fun.
  Back when it wasn't embarrassing to have food on your face, or be extra bundled up in a stroller.
Back when your cousins were your best friends...

Whatever memories you have of childhood friendships, compare it to your friendships of today. Are they as much fun and as true?

My friend Skyelynn quotes the verse below to me and compares it to our friendship. I love it that she feels this way because it truly describes our bond.

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

She sharpens me, I sharpen her. In other words, we encourage each other. Make your friendships iron worthy!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Hello Monday...

Well hello sweet Monday...

Coming from a weekend of ocean and sand, we welcome you with a grain of salt...

Hello family fun...

Hello sisters...oh no we didn't..yes, yes we did...we tried a jumping picture and failed, multiple times..

Hello cousin time...

Good bye weekend we didn't want to leave...

On our way out we saw this...zebra or horse painted like it?

Either way, it's pretty cool. Don't forget Skyelynn's birthday party (zebra themed) August 26, 3pm Our house!
Helllloooo Monday!