I want to be in all senses of the words, All. Things. Mama.
As far back as I can remember I've wanted to be a mom, not just any mom, but the mom that stays home with her kids full time. The mom who loves even when she is not loved back, who can't breathe without thinking of her kids first. The mom who loves teaching, playing, cooking, baking, laughing, and kissing owies. The mom who is ALL THINGS MAMA. My husband and I scrimp so that dream can be fulfilled. Being a mom is not part time for me. It is something that has captured my heart. All of the going ons of my life start with thoughts of my kids. My kids consume my love and my life and I allow it because, with God's help they are the essence of what makes me a mother. This is me...

kids: the reason for moms

kids: the reason for moms

Sunday, November 4, 2012

5 years of better or worse

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, but somehow through all the times we have stayed together. In our 5 long yet short years together I've learned one thing over and over: marriage is hard, REALLY hard. The difficult kind of hard you don't understand until you've experienced it.

Before getting married I used to think it looked so easy and fun. All you had to do was be in love and life would be grand. From the outside marriage can look easy and wonderful, and it can be both of those things, but it isn't those things all the time unless you really work at it all the time. Yes, love makes marriage good but it is not the only ingredient to a great married life.

I find that when I'm not willing to forgive like Jesus forgives me, when I'm not willing to listen like Jesus listens to me, and when I'm not willing to be like Jesus is to me in my relationship with my husband, our marriage goes through the worst of times. When I do the opposite, and I treat my marriage as Jesus expects me to treat it, we have the best of times.

The truth is, it is so much easier to walk away when tough times come than it is to stay and figure things out. During a fight, I am way more likely to shut down and leave the conversation than to talk until things are resolved. What can I say, I like to be right. Unfortunately, liking to be right all of the time is really wrong. Still working on that. It's been a 5 year project.

Even though it's been hard, it has also been really good to us. 3 kids in less than 4 years type of good. We've built a nice little family. Good things have come from our sometimes dysfunctional marriage.

So happy 5 years honey! Let's work on 70 more!

Cheers to finding the good stuff in marriage!